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If you believe no woman could possibly find you attractive, you will elide over all evidence to the contrary – women flirting with you, giving you the “come-hither” stare or even just smiling at you – and focus like a laser on every incidence of negativity.

You will see every interaction in the worst possible light: “she doesn’t like me, she’s clearly repulsed by me, she’s only being polite, I’m misreading the signals” This apparently unending stream of reinforcement will only serves to perpetuate a vicious cycle; your self-limiting beliefs cause you to overlook evidence to the contrary, thus reinforcing the belief which, in turn, continues to make it impossible to see the truth. Believing in yourself – that you’re attractive, that you have a lot to offer others, that you can you.

Let me paint a common story for you: It’s been a while since you’ve started trying to get better at dating and it seems like you’re no further along than you have been before. The more posts you read, the more approaches you make… The things that hold us back in dating almost always systematically bleed into the other parts of our lives as well and it’s only when we can be honest with ourselves, confront and address these issues that we can manage to move forward and start making the progress we As I’ve mentioned before: negativity is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Nerd Love, even in myself in different aspects of my daily life.

but that doesn’t stop them from trying to force themselves into the model because they Trying to fit into a personality type that’s so diametrically opposed from our real self is like trying to force yourself into shoes that don’t fit; you’re uncomfortable at best and the potential benefits are vastly outweighed by downsides.

When you’re trying to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you need to do so in a way that’s harmonious with who you , not for who you think you’re should be.

After all, it’s likely that “being yourself” hasn’t exactly gotten you to where you want to be. When we look at people who have something we want – whether it be material success, a skill or talent or even just a hot girlfriend – it’s only natural to try to be more like them.

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and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.They could be swapped out for the nearest stranger.Nobody likes feeling like an interchangeable, anonymous cog, easily replaceable and ultimately unmemorable.Your negative attitude will seep into Breaking negativity can be difficult; it takes time and effort to willfully decide to take a positive attitude and belief and stick to it. Just ask yourself: would you rather a world where everything confirms your worst fears or your fondest fantasies?There’s a reason why “just be yourself” is one of the most annoyingly useless advice cliches out there.




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And a recent Reddit thread revealed that the phrase you should never use in your Tinder profile is: ‘I made this account as a joke’. Girls like reading and if you don’t take the time to tell us a little bit about yourself that says a lot.’ ‘It’s a great way to keep your profile fresh, and give your potential matches insight into who you are.’ ‘You need a talking point – activity photos, like skiing or surfing, are good talking points. Say something interesting about something you saw on their profile.


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It’s common for newbies to be nervous before an ayahuasca ceremony. (You know, the type that allows the Kung Fu masters to break stacks of concrete blocks with a single hand chop.) In the Upper Amazon, Mother Ayahuasca is described as a jealous lover. If you’re seeking a super-duper big-ass experience, try being abstinent for, like, six weeks or longer, if you can manage. Remember, you’re not having a “drug experience” — this is a (something not emphasized enough in descriptions, I feel) and certain things are done that seem odd to a person raised in a non-shamanic culture. In the Amazon, this would be thought of in terms of guarding against evil spirits, dark energies, and so on.


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To be fair though, I receive thousands of emails each year from readers who are told all manner of variations of “I don’t want a relationship” or “I’m unavailable” or “I’m not interested/a jackass”…and they ignore it. Because they focus on the action and think “Well we’re having sex, they still text me, and we have so much fun together so obviously they do want a relationship.” No they don’t – actions and words must match. So many people ask me “Why are they still having sex with me then?


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